The first time I got her glimpse, I was screaming right in highest decibels. There was a pain, which was not flatulence. But the first glimpse was enough to fight off the pain. It was the most beautiful sight, since I saw an angel so pure.
I was crying out loud, I didn’t know where I was, why I was here. This place looked strange. I didn’t know who everyone was. I cry. I realize I was crying, very late.
If god created piece of art, it can’t get better than her. She was the most beautiful feeling and it is not an occult to anyone about her. My mundane corsair was suddenly turned into Garden of Blossoms because she was there. She made me smile, made me cry, made me moan out of pain when she bit me ruthlessly even though I fed her with my all with no brevity.
She fed me, she kissed me. I yelled cried when it was all dark, but none other than she could understand my expressions. I was still shocked in the world, but she made the portents vanish like thin air. She was there always. I knew she was my savior.
She grew quite fast. She grew up to be very intelligent, very notoriously cantankerous and a vociferous rage. As the day went by, she wanted to make full of it. She wanted to learn. She wanted to jump, yell, dance, run naked, trouble neighbors, pick up fight with the boys, get hurt and hurt them even more but act she got hurt more. Suddenly it stopped. She bled. She became a woman. She grew up. I grew younger.
I was a rage. I punched boys. I was stronger than them. I broke windows of neighbors. I swallowed mud. I chewed dirt to solace. I kicked dogs. I hit them with stones. I ran, with nothing on, my world was my cosmos. Suddenly, I was hurt without knowing. It all stopped. She culminated my rage into ashes. She poured water onto my flaming hopes. I Changed. It all changed.
She became the talk of the town. Her marauding beauty never went unnoticed. I waited all the time for her. Be it to get a bar of soap or for an ethnic day outing from the social club called College. I waited. From 4 am to 4 am, for her to come. I gave her a device to call me in need. It never served the purpose. For once I hated God for creating boys, or boys who whistle, or boys who form their own cul de sac. I waited for her to be back. For every second the world seemed to be far away and I felt lonely.
I had a time of my life. Ethnic day was fun. I got myself drunk. I danced like there is no tomorrow. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t have to know does she? What difference does it make? I told her my agenda for the day and it isn’t distorted. Hookah was special so was smoke. I felt cool. I felt courageous. I felt I was a rebel the world would never get a chance to victimize. 11 pm became 4 am, courage and fun does not come in time tables. Oh my device battery ran out, so what? These are not my priorities.
The only time I admired her beauty was when she was asleep. The rest of the time, I was paranoid. She thought I was jealous, she thought I wanted to see her as me. No, that is an accusation, a crime charges hung upon me. She was the most beautiful person ever alive. When she cried when she could not take the pain, the days I would pamper with love and care, I loved it. I loved myself. But the irony is being myself for 3 days in a month is more than a crime. It was flatulence, a fraud. She was becoming a rebel. She wanted to prove me wrong. But she was young. She was growing up and I wanted her to grow in the right way. I didn’t know how to react when I read her sms’es. She thought I invaded her privacy. I am sorry for that. But I wanted her privacy to be hers. She had to be safe in the world of victimizations. She cannot handle it. She is sober. She is a kid. She can’t treat herself with profanity. This hysteria kills me. I want her to be at home, locked. I want her sensous, long and flying eagle legs, to be crystallized and locked with each other.
The short skirt was the coolest thing I ever attired. The comments in face book, even better. It is a shame; I use the college loo as my dress change dormitory. She is old, she can’t get over Salwar. Has she ever admired my beautiful legs?
She went by. She quarreled. She gave up hope on me; she thought I was her villain. How her life has become a pirates corsair where in the only play that happens is of gluttony of vehemence and vicious poisoned phrases. She went far by. I cried. I cried, I prayed. The glimpse of her wet blooded body, on the day she came out, when Death was staring right in my eyes, giving me an option. Why did I ignore Death to catch a glimpse of her? I know she will be back. But my old eyes seem to have lost vision. Did I do wrong? I will be proud of her always, does she know that? Did she know that I want myself to change to be a friend of her, but I am unable to help myself? I felt lonely. I am her friend. I am her shadow. I am her. Does she know that?
I won. I am independent. I am no more suffocated by the whims and fancies of her. She cried. But I don’t feel bad, because someone had to lose. I won. I had no angst against her. I want her to be proud of me. I will make her proud by the decisions I make. Why doesn’t she understand that I am grown up. I can take care of myself. The world is cruel, but I have enough sanity to face the cruelty with my weapons called brains. Why does not she understand, she needs to change with the times. She is old, and that is not applicable. Life is not a list of boundaries that one keeps encountering. I want to fly high, and she cant clip my wings. Why doesn’t she understand, I am not her villain to deliberately disappoint.
She called me, she said she is fine. I cried. I only cried. The same crying when she left me to be herself. The same yelling when I got her out into this adolescent world. I wanted her to be with me. I needed her touch. I wanted to wake up at 4 am to admire her beauty when she was sleeping, to catch her through an eye when she was admiring herself for long in the mirror. To admire her eyes that felt like an ocean. I never admired myself so much the way I admired her. She was a goddess’ incarnation. I wanted her to be mine. I want to be her child. I want her to pamper me and tell me it is all going to be fine.
I called her. She is disappointed with me. She did not talk to me. She kept on crying. She felt I let her down. I blame myself for that. But I know I can work out things. It is just that I wanted to meet her once. I want to feel the sanctity of her food. I wanted her to tell me I am the most beautiful woman alive. I want her to admire me at 4 am in the morning sneaking on to my room. I wanted her in my lap. To caress her troubled head. I want to be her mother. I want to tell her, Its all going to be fine.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
I chose my independence
It is a morning again, I know for sure that is one more dawn that I need to live, may be by force, not by choice. The cuckoo seems to be overtly euphemistic about the day for it. It can’t resist living with the fact that it is another day it has got to see. I wonder if It would ever feel it was a misery to live another day, just like it’s so called “master” with whom it doesn’t have to put up a freedom struggle.
My chores for the day are pretty simple, albeit a bit unconventional for the middle class reader right now, who would be with their diet coke to check their calorie intake.
I go to the well, it is parched with thirst. Probably I love going to the well just before the sun throws its full might with full beauty, because it saves me the look of my own self in the left out water in the well. I take stock of the water left and off to my asset, to my friend I go to work it out. My asset as they call is 2acres of land. On paper it says 8, but 2 is where I get to my daily business. The remaining 6 is with one of the zameendar’s right from my birth, which was kept as a mortgage by my, self dependent father, gutsy father, the same day when he went to never return.
My land looks just like me , as it attires the same unclad dirty look that I possess. It is covered with some reclusive sartorial. It is dry, dusty, and sometimes gives me a feeling even the nature has given up on hope on its own self. The wind never seem to blow its way, depriving it of a friend, Clouds were last seen when it cried for 10 minutes. I sit with it, both in silence, because of the shame within both of us that we have been of no use for each other, when the world thinks we are best of friends.
My daughter is cooking, and I am lost in thoughts, as to how am I going to marry her off in the next week to Radhe Shyams elder son. The groom is about 16, Radha, the bride is 11. It is already late for her and I am contemplating the amount that Radhe Shyam will quote as dowry for my daughter as she is already 11, and how am I going to honor the commitment. But the thought that I have my dry, handicapped friend to back me off gives me a sigh of relief.
My son is just 7, he is not yet ready for the profession, because of his fragile and under nourished body mass. Yes I take the responsibility for his malnourishment. He is fit for education, but that is not on the priority for me, because, I will save that much of money, for Radha’s wedding. And any way education is for city dwellers, not for us. There is a school in here, but that is open only for wedding of rich Zameendars, or for free lunch that gets organized, when there are flags all over the places, lights speakers, when great people in envious clothes come and speak and address us. When they say, they will give us free water, electricity and fertilizers. All that might come or might not see the light of the day, but the day is special because we get drinks and food.
My wife, Banno died recently, although don’t know what was wrong with her. She never woke up, and there was a small, empty glass bottle, that accompanied for the last night. It has been a regular sight of mourning in the village, where people never woke up, and all that was left behind is the bottle. May be that is why the bottle is called, Salvation.
I sit with my land, thinking probably this would be the last time, I get to be with my lost friend as it would be friend of the same Zamindar, as I am in need of the money to marry Radha out and also to repay the Exorbitant sum of money that the Zamindar has lent me. But it gives me satisfaction that my handicapped friend will regain its lost parts of body, which were in the custody of the Zameendar. It will again be 8 acres. A Whole body united.
White cars, lot of them drive through the lanky and dusty fields of my village. I follow, thinking it might be beneficial for us, because it is a ritual as always, twice a year they come, they talk and they make us think after all they are there to help us. I run, my lungs do not cooperate with my legs, but I do not give up. The venue is already filled with people like me. Their odor reminds me of my own self. Greatness of this place is where people do not show off their new clothes or attires, because no one wears them, but where people show off, the ribs and bones sprawling out of their skin, to prove their misery. “More the misery, the more help you might receive.”
The promises are made, Loan has been waived, for us, no one is elated, because all eyes are on the verandah, where they give us free food and drinks.
I take the drink and take the food back home for my Children.
Amidst all this, one thing I saw was a cloth fluttering. I have experienced this sight twice a year since I have attained adulthood. They said it was our Country’s flag, but there was also another flag fluttering nearby, which kept changing every time. It was such a beautiful sight to see the flag flutter at its whole pride. I ask them, why today. And they say it is Independence day for us today, when we got independence 62 years back from the “Angrez “
I laugh at myself for being so ignorant about the fact that we are “Independent”, Independent of the misery of dictatorship of Angrez.
It was at stroke of midnight that we got our independence.
Independence means, freedom, independence means freedom of your own choice, freedom of your act, freedom to do things you want to do. Independence means being selfish for once and to chose your own way. I laugh again.
I am reminded of my wife, Banno. I am proud of her, as she understood what it means to be Independent. I am also reminded of the freedom struggle and the weapon in the glass bottle that gave her the independence.
The glass bottle is not only her weapon but also mine, the food reaches home, dusk sets in and the day is over.
For once, I laugh at nature and its surly “Night”, because I am not going to witness another misery and another dawn.
I laugh out so loud although my muscles ache by that.
I have a new friend to accompany my freedom struggle, the glass bottle.
At stroke of Midnight, I will choose my own INDEPENDENCE.
My chores for the day are pretty simple, albeit a bit unconventional for the middle class reader right now, who would be with their diet coke to check their calorie intake.
I go to the well, it is parched with thirst. Probably I love going to the well just before the sun throws its full might with full beauty, because it saves me the look of my own self in the left out water in the well. I take stock of the water left and off to my asset, to my friend I go to work it out. My asset as they call is 2acres of land. On paper it says 8, but 2 is where I get to my daily business. The remaining 6 is with one of the zameendar’s right from my birth, which was kept as a mortgage by my, self dependent father, gutsy father, the same day when he went to never return.
My land looks just like me , as it attires the same unclad dirty look that I possess. It is covered with some reclusive sartorial. It is dry, dusty, and sometimes gives me a feeling even the nature has given up on hope on its own self. The wind never seem to blow its way, depriving it of a friend, Clouds were last seen when it cried for 10 minutes. I sit with it, both in silence, because of the shame within both of us that we have been of no use for each other, when the world thinks we are best of friends.
My daughter is cooking, and I am lost in thoughts, as to how am I going to marry her off in the next week to Radhe Shyams elder son. The groom is about 16, Radha, the bride is 11. It is already late for her and I am contemplating the amount that Radhe Shyam will quote as dowry for my daughter as she is already 11, and how am I going to honor the commitment. But the thought that I have my dry, handicapped friend to back me off gives me a sigh of relief.
My son is just 7, he is not yet ready for the profession, because of his fragile and under nourished body mass. Yes I take the responsibility for his malnourishment. He is fit for education, but that is not on the priority for me, because, I will save that much of money, for Radha’s wedding. And any way education is for city dwellers, not for us. There is a school in here, but that is open only for wedding of rich Zameendars, or for free lunch that gets organized, when there are flags all over the places, lights speakers, when great people in envious clothes come and speak and address us. When they say, they will give us free water, electricity and fertilizers. All that might come or might not see the light of the day, but the day is special because we get drinks and food.
My wife, Banno died recently, although don’t know what was wrong with her. She never woke up, and there was a small, empty glass bottle, that accompanied for the last night. It has been a regular sight of mourning in the village, where people never woke up, and all that was left behind is the bottle. May be that is why the bottle is called, Salvation.
I sit with my land, thinking probably this would be the last time, I get to be with my lost friend as it would be friend of the same Zamindar, as I am in need of the money to marry Radha out and also to repay the Exorbitant sum of money that the Zamindar has lent me. But it gives me satisfaction that my handicapped friend will regain its lost parts of body, which were in the custody of the Zameendar. It will again be 8 acres. A Whole body united.
White cars, lot of them drive through the lanky and dusty fields of my village. I follow, thinking it might be beneficial for us, because it is a ritual as always, twice a year they come, they talk and they make us think after all they are there to help us. I run, my lungs do not cooperate with my legs, but I do not give up. The venue is already filled with people like me. Their odor reminds me of my own self. Greatness of this place is where people do not show off their new clothes or attires, because no one wears them, but where people show off, the ribs and bones sprawling out of their skin, to prove their misery. “More the misery, the more help you might receive.”
The promises are made, Loan has been waived, for us, no one is elated, because all eyes are on the verandah, where they give us free food and drinks.
I take the drink and take the food back home for my Children.
Amidst all this, one thing I saw was a cloth fluttering. I have experienced this sight twice a year since I have attained adulthood. They said it was our Country’s flag, but there was also another flag fluttering nearby, which kept changing every time. It was such a beautiful sight to see the flag flutter at its whole pride. I ask them, why today. And they say it is Independence day for us today, when we got independence 62 years back from the “Angrez “
I laugh at myself for being so ignorant about the fact that we are “Independent”, Independent of the misery of dictatorship of Angrez.
It was at stroke of midnight that we got our independence.
Independence means, freedom, independence means freedom of your own choice, freedom of your act, freedom to do things you want to do. Independence means being selfish for once and to chose your own way. I laugh again.
I am reminded of my wife, Banno. I am proud of her, as she understood what it means to be Independent. I am also reminded of the freedom struggle and the weapon in the glass bottle that gave her the independence.
The glass bottle is not only her weapon but also mine, the food reaches home, dusk sets in and the day is over.
For once, I laugh at nature and its surly “Night”, because I am not going to witness another misery and another dawn.
I laugh out so loud although my muscles ache by that.
I have a new friend to accompany my freedom struggle, the glass bottle.
At stroke of Midnight, I will choose my own INDEPENDENCE.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
10 point No one :(
A conversation with an intelligent mind can always inspire and elate you to epitome of self satisfaction. I underwent something similar. A plethora of self satisfaction, or to say self dissatisfaction.
And who better than my mom to fill in the boots of intelligent mind?
It was a very gloomy evening, in fact similar to my most working day evenings. I came home tired, exhausted as if I just came from the war, and the worst part is not being aware if I won or lost. But it is always oblivion, albeit high on emotional feeling to get home. You feel safe and secure and you can be at your crazy best and where you can throw away your grotesque pretentious mask that was worn throughout.
Mom was in the kitchen, I see her do her chores with a beautiful smile. I experience her freshness, and am put to shame, as she has worked more than what I have, and she has seen much much more wars than I can imagine. But this smile is for the satisfaction of me being there around, it makes me feel happy. She knows there would always be a crazy conversation and I didn’t disappoint her.
“Mom I Need a car” was the abrupt beginning. Probably I expected her to attire a fake shocked expression or a surprise, or at worst possible scenario a satisfied expression. But nothing, her smile got bigger, making me contemplate a strategy to face her criminal notion.
I repeat “ Mom I need a …” "Write down 10 reasons why you need a car", comes the reply. Now Dumb stuck I was. It was 10 reasons that was going to decide my fate, my bank balance, my future ( min for 5 years, till loan is out), my esteem, my standard of living etc. I do not argue, and here I am writing the reasons, 10 precious reasons. 10 points
I need a car because;
1) I have a girlfriend
2) I get tired commuting by bus
3) My friends have it
4) Because my parents are getting older and it would be convenient for them.
5) I can travel to places on weekends, ( Temples, Big Bazzaar included )
6) I want to save the world, by car pooling and reducing the carbon footprint
7) Because Driving is an art, and I am an artist
8) I can save tax by taking the loan
9) I love cars and know a lot about them
10) It will help me plan my time better
10 reasons, 10 points and I thought we would be having a discussion about the bank to choose for loan and the parking place and the make and color of the car. But destiny had its own game. If you want to share my irony, the replies are as below
1) I have a girlfriend – “She never asked you to get a car, did she ? In fact she was impressed by you before even you had a car.”
2) I get tired commuting by bus – “ You sleep in bus, you read, you listen to music, you talk on the phone with “point one your gf” with ease, you do all the things you love.
3) My friends have it – “ Depends whom you are comparing with". Now I thought I could have done better here
4) Because my parents are getting older and it would be convenient for them – "If we are old enough, why would we go out anyway at odd times? And even if we “old” parents go out it would be for a “walk” .
5) I can travel to places for weekends – "You do not club late night, neither can you afford a movie in this city to go for a movie, and neither does point one apply here on weekends, and you lazy bum need to be at home with your violin on weekends".
6) I want to save the world, by car pooling and reducing the carbon footprint – This is where I screwed it up. “ Probably your friends in point 3 share the same feeling, car pool with them”
7) Because Driving is an art, and I am an artist – “Why not glass painting?”
8) I can save tax by taking Car loan – “ You can save more money by not taking loan at all”
9) I love cars a lot and know a lot about them – “ I still am aware about how you explained the fission bomb experiment in Discovery channel”
10) It will help me plan my time better – “ Not at all, it will worsen, thanks to the attitude I have car to back it up”
I gave up.
I just thank my stars this was just a one off exercise, and is not going to continue if I have to get a book, a shirt or simple other important things.
One thing I learnt is,
If you need something, first have a 10 reasons exercise done appropriately.
By the way, Can you help me frame 10 reasons to get myself a bike?
And who better than my mom to fill in the boots of intelligent mind?
It was a very gloomy evening, in fact similar to my most working day evenings. I came home tired, exhausted as if I just came from the war, and the worst part is not being aware if I won or lost. But it is always oblivion, albeit high on emotional feeling to get home. You feel safe and secure and you can be at your crazy best and where you can throw away your grotesque pretentious mask that was worn throughout.
Mom was in the kitchen, I see her do her chores with a beautiful smile. I experience her freshness, and am put to shame, as she has worked more than what I have, and she has seen much much more wars than I can imagine. But this smile is for the satisfaction of me being there around, it makes me feel happy. She knows there would always be a crazy conversation and I didn’t disappoint her.
“Mom I Need a car” was the abrupt beginning. Probably I expected her to attire a fake shocked expression or a surprise, or at worst possible scenario a satisfied expression. But nothing, her smile got bigger, making me contemplate a strategy to face her criminal notion.
I repeat “ Mom I need a …” "Write down 10 reasons why you need a car", comes the reply. Now Dumb stuck I was. It was 10 reasons that was going to decide my fate, my bank balance, my future ( min for 5 years, till loan is out), my esteem, my standard of living etc. I do not argue, and here I am writing the reasons, 10 precious reasons. 10 points
I need a car because;
1) I have a girlfriend
2) I get tired commuting by bus
3) My friends have it
4) Because my parents are getting older and it would be convenient for them.
5) I can travel to places on weekends, ( Temples, Big Bazzaar included )
6) I want to save the world, by car pooling and reducing the carbon footprint
7) Because Driving is an art, and I am an artist
8) I can save tax by taking the loan
9) I love cars and know a lot about them
10) It will help me plan my time better
10 reasons, 10 points and I thought we would be having a discussion about the bank to choose for loan and the parking place and the make and color of the car. But destiny had its own game. If you want to share my irony, the replies are as below
1) I have a girlfriend – “She never asked you to get a car, did she ? In fact she was impressed by you before even you had a car.”
2) I get tired commuting by bus – “ You sleep in bus, you read, you listen to music, you talk on the phone with “point one your gf” with ease, you do all the things you love.
3) My friends have it – “ Depends whom you are comparing with". Now I thought I could have done better here
4) Because my parents are getting older and it would be convenient for them – "If we are old enough, why would we go out anyway at odd times? And even if we “old” parents go out it would be for a “walk” .
5) I can travel to places for weekends – "You do not club late night, neither can you afford a movie in this city to go for a movie, and neither does point one apply here on weekends, and you lazy bum need to be at home with your violin on weekends".
6) I want to save the world, by car pooling and reducing the carbon footprint – This is where I screwed it up. “ Probably your friends in point 3 share the same feeling, car pool with them”
7) Because Driving is an art, and I am an artist – “Why not glass painting?”
8) I can save tax by taking Car loan – “ You can save more money by not taking loan at all”
9) I love cars a lot and know a lot about them – “ I still am aware about how you explained the fission bomb experiment in Discovery channel”
10) It will help me plan my time better – “ Not at all, it will worsen, thanks to the attitude I have car to back it up”
I gave up.
I just thank my stars this was just a one off exercise, and is not going to continue if I have to get a book, a shirt or simple other important things.
One thing I learnt is,
If you need something, first have a 10 reasons exercise done appropriately.
By the way, Can you help me frame 10 reasons to get myself a bike?
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Relationship - Meant forever or to end to weave a new one ?
“A beauty of a relationship is only known after it is severed”
I wonder if that is too good to be true, and why is it that I was chosen amongst the cadet to be honored with the privilege of experiencing the myth?
I had a beauty of a relationship, in fact, the world seemed to be “at my feet” with the relationship blossoming, amidst the crowded idiosyncrasies which kept crawling within my head. I always had a perfect place to land, Never ever got cold feet, and in fact in Calvin’s terms, my toes never went numb.
We shared a lot of things in common, including skin color, not that it is a racial comment and that’s why the relationship was altogether an experience to be cherished, recollected and boasted to the core. It was like a perfect fitting sartorial between both of us..
Although our communication was always through a mediator, which would have given up by the end of the day with the brink of sweat stink, because god did not gift her with as much of ability to talk as like her beauty, ,Yet Language of communiqué was never an issue. She had the intelligence I believe and perfectly understood, what my mind desired, and took me to the destination, with no hassles and with no argument. The beauty of the relationship was “I called the shots and she lovingly obeyed”, leaving envious and pious eyes across my known beings, vying my relationship.
Day in Day out, the mediator kept changing, because of the tiresome work but the relationship between us was intact, in fact, it was becoming a gesture by itself, to lead me through the chaos and sufferings of the world.
The relationship, came at a price that was 5% percent of my monthly income, It was in fact perfect fitting for my budget, because this relationship did not have any entertainment budget, no gift budget, no post fight make up budget, no dad impressing budget, in fact no maintenance budget at all. Yes I know it is too good to be true, and I was luckiest of the lot. I can still imagine the vibrancies that vacillated across through me, when our bodies met every “morning”. Similar was the feeling of relief, when our bodies parted, at the “night time”, I can still replenish the white smile at that time.
But now, all that exists is a memory. A gloomy thought that she really existed in my life. There is a sudden vacuum and my feet did get cold, my toes did go numb. The Sartorial that pre existed remains a myth again. It lasted for less than couple of months. What went wrong? Well I guess nothing much. Just that I had left the marauding beauty all alone. And in the world, where it can prove to be a costly mistake to part even for a second with your loved one, I paid the price. She was gone. She left my feet to take me nowhere. I had no destination to cover. Someone drooled over the beauty and she became theirs in a jiffy. I was helpless; because I am yet to figure who the slayer was but am sure they did not deserve the piece of beauty. I gave up even before trying to win her back, because I knew that she had all that it required to reach far far away from the world with her new master. I was for once disappointed because I felt she needed her voice to at least warn me of the danger she went through.
My feet still has the smell of her skin, the fresh canvas aroma, my mediators although different every other day, seem to miss their friend, their aficionado, But All I can do is give them a new friend to call their own. It was a weeklong gap, as I was waiting for the month to end, and a new month and fresh currency to come in my way.
It did, and there I went to the Adidas shop, armed with a new hope and inspiration to fall in love again, to get into a new relationship. Instantaneously I found someone with an edifice charisma, similar aroma of canvas, and all the more fresher than my previous love. We connected within seconds, love at first sight they say. And with that in mind, and the happiness my mediators will have by knowing their new buddy, I paid up the cost for the pair of “shoes”.
I know, it is another relationship that wont last forever. But I can be rest assured, that as it lasts through with my feet, I can be of calm mind, knowing that the eyes of the world would be on my feet, and I would own wherever I land upon.
The beauty of it, I will call the shots again
I wonder if that is too good to be true, and why is it that I was chosen amongst the cadet to be honored with the privilege of experiencing the myth?
I had a beauty of a relationship, in fact, the world seemed to be “at my feet” with the relationship blossoming, amidst the crowded idiosyncrasies which kept crawling within my head. I always had a perfect place to land, Never ever got cold feet, and in fact in Calvin’s terms, my toes never went numb.
We shared a lot of things in common, including skin color, not that it is a racial comment and that’s why the relationship was altogether an experience to be cherished, recollected and boasted to the core. It was like a perfect fitting sartorial between both of us..
Although our communication was always through a mediator, which would have given up by the end of the day with the brink of sweat stink, because god did not gift her with as much of ability to talk as like her beauty, ,Yet Language of communiqué was never an issue. She had the intelligence I believe and perfectly understood, what my mind desired, and took me to the destination, with no hassles and with no argument. The beauty of the relationship was “I called the shots and she lovingly obeyed”, leaving envious and pious eyes across my known beings, vying my relationship.
Day in Day out, the mediator kept changing, because of the tiresome work but the relationship between us was intact, in fact, it was becoming a gesture by itself, to lead me through the chaos and sufferings of the world.
The relationship, came at a price that was 5% percent of my monthly income, It was in fact perfect fitting for my budget, because this relationship did not have any entertainment budget, no gift budget, no post fight make up budget, no dad impressing budget, in fact no maintenance budget at all. Yes I know it is too good to be true, and I was luckiest of the lot. I can still imagine the vibrancies that vacillated across through me, when our bodies met every “morning”. Similar was the feeling of relief, when our bodies parted, at the “night time”, I can still replenish the white smile at that time.
But now, all that exists is a memory. A gloomy thought that she really existed in my life. There is a sudden vacuum and my feet did get cold, my toes did go numb. The Sartorial that pre existed remains a myth again. It lasted for less than couple of months. What went wrong? Well I guess nothing much. Just that I had left the marauding beauty all alone. And in the world, where it can prove to be a costly mistake to part even for a second with your loved one, I paid the price. She was gone. She left my feet to take me nowhere. I had no destination to cover. Someone drooled over the beauty and she became theirs in a jiffy. I was helpless; because I am yet to figure who the slayer was but am sure they did not deserve the piece of beauty. I gave up even before trying to win her back, because I knew that she had all that it required to reach far far away from the world with her new master. I was for once disappointed because I felt she needed her voice to at least warn me of the danger she went through.
My feet still has the smell of her skin, the fresh canvas aroma, my mediators although different every other day, seem to miss their friend, their aficionado, But All I can do is give them a new friend to call their own. It was a weeklong gap, as I was waiting for the month to end, and a new month and fresh currency to come in my way.
It did, and there I went to the Adidas shop, armed with a new hope and inspiration to fall in love again, to get into a new relationship. Instantaneously I found someone with an edifice charisma, similar aroma of canvas, and all the more fresher than my previous love. We connected within seconds, love at first sight they say. And with that in mind, and the happiness my mediators will have by knowing their new buddy, I paid up the cost for the pair of “shoes”.
I know, it is another relationship that wont last forever. But I can be rest assured, that as it lasts through with my feet, I can be of calm mind, knowing that the eyes of the world would be on my feet, and I would own wherever I land upon.
The beauty of it, I will call the shots again
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Two Glasses, Two different Vision
My CEO is a nice man. He wears glasses. He looks very much confident and intelligent because he wears glasses. He got into a new habit, which I should say he is good at. He blogs, although don’t know if that is part of his Job description, out of coercion or just that it adds to his wallet. But he does that well. He shares his experience, which most of the organization‘s workforce could only dream of experiencing. It makes us think, contemplate, wish and desire.
But this one was special. One quote from him and that made me take a protagonist view of everything around me including my own self and my attitude.
He quoted, “Europeans are still vacationing. Recession has not hit them so hard because they have good Social Security, Unemployment privileges and Severance costs are higher”.
Implied meaning, Indians are not socially secured; they still toil hard for ages and for petty wages. Still 65 % of population is poor and 70 % poor on paper. Still 70 percent of eligible workforce is unemployed or underemployed. I am assuming he would be pretty happy to see Indians vacationing at times of recession, or when Indian workforce is compared to that of the best in class. He would love to see when every individual has his own savings and tax plan, and not only 401 soap bar but a 401 k plan?
My boss is a good man too. He wears glasses. He looks very intelligent, confident of self. He is a thorough bureaucrat, and has immense knowledge of the world around. He has great experience and has seen the world a lot more than me.
Not long ago was an idea given to my boss at a very informal meeting, but more formal than a blogging session. The idea was to have social security to our own employees. The Idea to take care of our employees with their own money.
How? Here is how.
• As a monthly deduction of a petty sum of Rs 10 from each of the employee.
• Create a fund, an insurance fund to insure their life style in case of severance.
• When an employee is actually asked to leave, ensure that for the time he gets another chance to be laid off, he gets at least 90 percent of his last drawn payment. Used from the fund.
• Result? Loyalty, Productivity increase etc.
The reply was instantaneous,
Social Security is the job of Government, not the Company
I do not wear glasses, I do not look intelligent, Probably, I am not, not enough to understand the vacillation of thoughts amongst both my CEO and My Boss, surely not enough to get an answer to the thoughts in my mind,
“Is Convenience the only comfort?
But this one was special. One quote from him and that made me take a protagonist view of everything around me including my own self and my attitude.
He quoted, “Europeans are still vacationing. Recession has not hit them so hard because they have good Social Security, Unemployment privileges and Severance costs are higher”.
Implied meaning, Indians are not socially secured; they still toil hard for ages and for petty wages. Still 65 % of population is poor and 70 % poor on paper. Still 70 percent of eligible workforce is unemployed or underemployed. I am assuming he would be pretty happy to see Indians vacationing at times of recession, or when Indian workforce is compared to that of the best in class. He would love to see when every individual has his own savings and tax plan, and not only 401 soap bar but a 401 k plan?
My boss is a good man too. He wears glasses. He looks very intelligent, confident of self. He is a thorough bureaucrat, and has immense knowledge of the world around. He has great experience and has seen the world a lot more than me.
Not long ago was an idea given to my boss at a very informal meeting, but more formal than a blogging session. The idea was to have social security to our own employees. The Idea to take care of our employees with their own money.
How? Here is how.
• As a monthly deduction of a petty sum of Rs 10 from each of the employee.
• Create a fund, an insurance fund to insure their life style in case of severance.
• When an employee is actually asked to leave, ensure that for the time he gets another chance to be laid off, he gets at least 90 percent of his last drawn payment. Used from the fund.
• Result? Loyalty, Productivity increase etc.
The reply was instantaneous,
Social Security is the job of Government, not the Company
I do not wear glasses, I do not look intelligent, Probably, I am not, not enough to understand the vacillation of thoughts amongst both my CEO and My Boss, surely not enough to get an answer to the thoughts in my mind,
“Is Convenience the only comfort?
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